As your parents age, they may need more help with their daily tasks or even need more intensive care. While you want to ensure they have the assistance they need, you have to remember they are adults who have the right to choose what happens with their care.
This can create issues when you disagree with what that care should be. If your parent is fighting you about getting help, you may wonder what you can do. While you cannot force anything on your parent, there may be some approaches you can use to help him or her understand the need for assistance.
When you speak with your parent about getting help, such as an in-home aide, you need to focus on the right things. Do not fight with your parent. Find out about his or her concerns and make your approach in line with his or her needs. Keep the discussion positive. Focus on what the help will do for your parent and not the negative reasons why he or she needs it.
It is helpful if you let your parent take control. This can help to encourage independence and will not make him or her feel like you are trying to control the situation. Part of the reason why many seniors fight over getting extra help is they feel a loss of independence. By keeping that a focal point, you may be able to override any concerns.
Shift the perspective
Ask your parent what he or she would do in your shoes. Put them in charge of the situation by explaining how you feel and what you see happening. Explain why you think this is a necessary step, and then ask what he or she would do if they had to make the same decisions. They may realize the need once you get them to see your point of view.
When approaching a situation where a parent is refusing much-needed help, it is always best to take things slowly. Do not try to push anything on your parent. And remember, he or she is an adult who has the right to make decisions about his or her life. You may have to let it go and try again another time.